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Why I walk this path

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My Journey

What was my starting point that compelled me to undertake this very rewarding but challenging inner work journey? 

Year 2021 saw me in the throes of postpartum depression, having given birth during the pandemic. Already a year into motherhood, I was told to "shake off the sadness", count my blessings, turn a blind eye to my uneasiness, to enjoy parenting, no matter how far it had taken me away from all my knowns and comforts and any sense of normality. My relationship with my husband was on tenterhooks. With a minimal support structure, and pretending that all is well with the few friends we have in the country, I regressed into a severely vulnerable place, self harm to numb myself, indulgent food to comfort me, with no heed to my diabetes. The breaking point came about when we finally were able to hire a helper at the point that my son turned 17 months old - she was very new to the job, and I turned out to be very combustive with her as well. My temper was ever present - and it nagged me so much, that my son was witnessing me like this - is this how I want to be remembered? 

I just couldn't accept myself like this. I couldn't any longer just disassociate, and make peace with my inner struggles by ignoring them. I then reached out to my trusted GP, who'd shared a therapist's phone number. And ever since then, there has been no turning back on my healing journey. After sessions of so many vulnerabilities shared, reframing done, support received, I felt HUMAN again. I felt my emotions getting the permission they needed. They, and thus I, felt acceptable. This was the turning point for me. After experiencing somatic therapy - where my body was allowed to share the stories that were deeply suppressed due to not having enough resources to process them throughout my life - I truly felt extremely empowered that I too can have this sort of space holding, path walking, transformation sparking capabilities that can make a difference in the lives of others. This is what I call my journey to MYSELF.  

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Why Journey with me?

I was in the space of Service Delivery, IT in my corporate hay-days. Across large and small companies that I worked in, I deeply enjoyed making, nurturing and using connections. Deep in the world of SLAs, being the advocate of services for the clients and my teams alike, putting out fires and putting in good words and orchestrating a service that makes my clients fulfilled - this was my day to day for about 13 years. Having last served as a Lead and managed 12 very lovely souls, I called it quits. What made me bid this very stressful but at times rewarding job, with excellent insurance and salary goodbye? 

It was the Spring Solstice of 2023, during my third somatic therapy session with my dear therapist. During this profound exploration, my heart strongly voiced its desire to lead a life filled with passion, purpose, dedication, and devotion to one's art and gift. My gut spoke to me and warned me that continuing to live in a depleted manner would not be sustainable for my distressed body. This revelation was a significant wake-up call!

The feeling of helplessness, being adrift in this labyrinth of life is not unknown to me, as I have shared in my backstory.  I stand in solidarity with those who feel lost, down, overwhelmed by young children, emotionally drained, disconnected, and affected by corporate burnout. I have experienced similar struggles and empathize with each person's unique journey.

Your pilgrimage through existence is a tapestry woven with so many threads that makes you unique. I tread gently, offering not assumptions but a lantern to illuminate the way — share with you the tools gifted to me by my own journey, the wisdom imparted by benevolent mentors, all to aid in healing, in blossoming, in reaching your boundless potential. May you rediscover your inner radiance, embracing your own brilliance, and navigating your life with glowing self-awareness.

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